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| The Windham Cancer Support group meets the last Tuesday of each month in the Windham Public Library's conference room from 6:30 to 8 p.m. Kim Murray and Rachel Phinney share stories and laughter during a recent meeting. PHOTO BY LORRAINE GLOWCZAK |
When Kim Murray of Windham was diagnosed with breast cancer, she
felt isolated and alone after her diagnosis and during her treatments. She was
grateful for her supportive and loving husband as well as her children, who
were attending RSU 14 schools at the time, but the challenges seemed more than
she could bear. What Murray didn’t know was that another parent in the school
district was facing similar circumstances.
“The school department approached me, explaining that there was another mother going through the same cancer I was experiencing,” Murray said. “They asked if they could share my contact information so we could connect. I gave my permission and was totally on board.”
The two mothers gathered informally to encourage one another
during a very challenging and confusing time.
“There were cancer support groups in South Portland and
Scarborough, but after a day of working or a day with radiation treatment or chemotherapy,
we were too tired to travel, so we stayed in Windham and helped each other
through this,” Murray said. “RSU 14 and the greater Windham community were very
helpful to us both by helping in many ways, and I feel so grateful for that.”
Two community members that Murray feels grateful for are Jeanne Curtin and Amy Tringali-Somes. The two individuals recognized the need for a cancer support group in Windham to help others in the community who were also trying to manage the new realities after a cancer diagnosis. Curtin and Tringali-Somes decided to make it happen, and thus the Windham Cancer Support Group (WCSG) was created in 2006.
Today, between seven and 13 people join the WCSG on the last
Tuesday of each month, meeting in the Windham Public Library’s conference room
from 6:30 to 8 p.m. The room is filled with not only individuals who have been
diagnosed with cancer but also caregivers.
WCSG’s core mission is to support each other with respect –
giving everyone time and space to express fears, confusion, treatment options,
etc. But most importantly, privacy is adhered to.
“What is said in the room stays in the room,” said WCSG member
Rachel Phinney.
Periodically, the monthly gatherings also consist of guest
speakers who present and discuss ways to get through difficulties. Past
speakers introduced topics such as laughter yoga, alternative therapies,
traditional medical advice, nutritional guidance, spiritual and pastoral
support.
But when the 1½ hour meeting is over, the support continues.
“We are focused as a group, helping each other when help is
needed,” Murray said. “We’ve helped members clean their homes and also raise
money to support families financially.”
Members of the WCSG have raised funds for families with cancer
at Christmas and have pitched in financially to help a person with cancer whose
medical treatments were affecting her lungs, making it difficult to breathe in
her own home.
“The air quality needed to be assessed and improved, so we
helped her out financially with the cost associated with increasing the quality
of air in her home,” Phinney said.
Phinney herself has received much assistance and encouragement
in recent years. She joined WCSG shortly after it was established when she was
diagnosed with breast cancer. In 2020, she was diagnosed with ovarian cancer
and continues to fight the disease.
“Cancer is difficult, and the second time around doesn’t make it
easier, but it is more challenging during a pandemic,” Phinney said. “I was
admitted into the hospital in early 2020 and didn’t get to see my husband for
over a month.”
WCSG members were there for Phinney, although remotely, giving
her encouragement with phone calls and Zoom meetings. When Phinney was released
from the hospital, the group made and posted signs along her street, welcoming
her home.
“This group has become a part of my family,” Phinney said, as
other members shook their heads in agreement.
In addition to the family-like support during challenging times,
WCSG members also rely on a steady dose of merriment.
“Humor is what keeps us going and laughter relaxes us,” member Bob Beane said. “If you can’t laugh at the situation, you can find yourself in a dark place and stay there.”
Beane uses wit when describing his own experience with cancer.
Being diagnosed with an aggressive form of prostate cancer in 2008, he was
given high-dose radiation treatments and received two years of estrogen
injections.
“The estrogen saved my life but I had no clue what the side
effects would be. I am experiencing menopause,” joked Beane. “I have hot
flashes, an expanded menopausal belly and B-cup breasts. There are times when
my wife and I have hot flashes at the same time. All we do is laugh about it.”
Caregivers are encouraged to come too and are offered support to
verbalize their own challenges.
Rosie Hebert was a caregiver for her husband who was diagnosed
with lung cancer. She shares how guidance from the group saved her life.
“My son, Derek, moved in with my husband and me to help out,”
Hebert said. “Derek and I had noticed that my husband was acting strange – his
personality had changed. One night Derek came to the meeting with me and we
shared what we had both noticed. We explained we didn’t know what to do - we
were at a loss. Fellow members insisted that we get another scan done
immediately. We did, and discovered the cancer had metastasized, spreading to
his brain. While the doctors were informing us of this news, my husband had a
seizure. If the WCSG had not empowered us with this knowledge and encouraged
self-advocacy, he could have had the seizure while driving the car with my son
and me in it. This group quite literally saved our lives.”
The WCSG realizes that not everyone diagnosed with cancer feels
comfortable being a part of a support group. Still, many are surprised at their
relief after talking with others going through similar experiences and
circumstances.
One guest member once stated after his first visit, “I wasn’t
sure I wanted to do this, but it is the best thing I’ve done for myself since
my diagnosis.”
Whether you have been diagnosed and are cancer-free, currently living with cancer, or are a caregiver, please feel free to email the Windham Cancer Support Group at Windcancersupport@aol.com or Windhamsupport@yahoo.com. You can also follow the group on Facebook. <
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