Local author promotes connection and relationship in upcoming book

Windham resident Sarah MacLaughlin will publish
her second book, 'Raising Humans With Heart: Not 
a How-To Manual' later this month. The book explores
how connection impacts parenting.
SUBMITTED PHOTO 

By Elizabeth Richards

Sarah MacLaughlin is passionate about parenting and has read every parenting book she can get her hands on.  She calls her ability to read and distill important information her “superpower.” 

MacLaughlin’s second book, Raising Humans With Heart: Not a How-To Manual, launches this month. She’s long been interested in how connection impacts parenting.

“We know that growth is part of both nurture and nature,” she said. “The only part of that that we have any power to guide is the nurture part and that is worth looking at and being curious about.”

The book, as the subtitle indicates, is not a step-by-step guide to parenting. While there are tips, frameworks and resources throughout the book, MacLaughlin is clear that there is no magic formula. 

Her goal, she said, was “reframing parenting not as something you’re doing to somebody, but as a relationship that you have and how that all stems from the relationship that we have with ourselves.”

MacLaughlin said, “I could teach a parent every approach or strategy in the book, but if that parent is completely stressed out while trying to pull off said strategy, it’s not going to work. What really motivates people to change, whether they’re four or forty, is a relationship.”  

Working with Publishizer, which she described as “like Kickstarter for publishing,” helped keep MacLaughlin accountable, the author said.  That’s because she sold people copies of a book which hadn’t yet been written. When the pandemic hit and she was at home all the time, she put that time to good use.

While her first book took a decade to write, this one, which is longer, was completed in a couple of months, she said.

MacLaughlin strives to help parents find the “Goldilocks” spot in parenting: not too firm and not too soft. She also emphasizes having grace with yourself and taking steps to repair ruptures in relationships when they do occur.

There’s a wealth of information available now that parents a few decades ago just didn’t have, she said.

“There are so many misunderstandings of children’s behavior and what motivates them,” MacLaughlin said.  Having information about how the brain works and development progresses can help parents respond rather than react. She describes her new book as “a short and sassy book that distills the research and brain science for busy parents.” 

The title of the book is both a reminder that we aren’t raising children – after all, they don’t stay young forever – and that we need to be more in our hearts, MacLaughlin said.

“We need people in the world right now that are connected to themselves and connected to others that have heart,” she said.

Although the anecdotes included, with her (now teenage) son’s permission, are about a younger child’s behavior, she said she tried to “paint with broad strokes about the meaning of that” so the information would apply across the spectrum of age. 

“My hope was that no matter where you were in your parenting trajectory, you could pick it up and find it useful,” she said.

She hopes that anybody who interacts with children, whether or not they have any of their own, will find value in the book. 

“It’s a different way of thinking about relationships with kids and young people,” she said.

MacLaughlin’s writing and parent education work has been done alongside full time employment for many years. She has a degree in Women’s Studies, has been a licensed social worker for 15 years, and has a background as a preschool teacher, nanny, working in foster and adoptive care, and delivering workshops to parents and early childhood staff, among other roles.  She is currently employed full time as a senior writer for Zero to Three.  

MacLaughlin and her husband bought land in Windham in 2004, had a house built, and moved in the summer of 2005.  She said they’ve slowly developed their homestead with their garden and their chickens.  She and her family enjoy discovering local spots to get in or on the water.

Raising Humans With Heart: Not a How-to Manual is currently available for preorder on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and Indy Bound.  Orders will ship in mid-July. <